With full permission from my husband, this is an excerpt of a conversation he and I had earlier this afternoon while he studied for his Hebrew final exam:

Parker (shuffling through vocabulary notecards):  Do you get swine flu from eating swine, breathing in swiney germs, or is it an STD?  Perhaps it’s what one gets from being a sexist pig.

Me:  I don’t know.  (trying to keep him on track)  What’s the Hebrew word for swine?

Parker:  There is no Hebrew word for swine.

Me:  There has to be a Hebrew word for swine.  How else would they know not to eat it?

Parker (pointing):  They just say, “Don’t eat THAT!”

Me:  I think you should get back to your notecards.

Parker:  Did you know the word “Egypt” is used in the Old Testament 682 times?

Me:  How many times?  (writing this down so I can blog about it)  862?

Parker (laughing):  682

Me:  Dangit.  Why do I have such horrible short-term memory?!

Parker (showing me a flash card):  What is this word?

Me:  I don’t know.  It looks like two tables with a barstool in the middle.  Oh wait, I can see through the card.  Oops – it’s “Yahweh.”

Parker (gasping):  That’s the tetragrammaton!  You’re not even supposed to say it!

Me:  Well, maybe you should start quizzing yourself!

I’m a heretic married to a seminarian.  Mercy.


Parker:  You’re sure writing a lot about me over there.

Me:  Why do you assume it’s all about you?